tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4955595384679146116.post3295672900907722806..comments2023-10-15T06:34:45.476-07:00Comments on THE EDITOR DEVIL: Illegal Stacking Aheadeditordevil.blogspot.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06288986372377855628noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4955595384679146116.post-56135615730076365982010-05-30T11:06:34.417-07:002010-05-30T11:06:34.417-07:00C -Thank you for your positive critique :-))
Like ...C -Thank you for your positive critique :-))<br />Like Marianne - I have a copy of your <br />clear admonitions nearby for quick referral. <br />All the best,- LLani Schonberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05293507252578878697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4955595384679146116.post-16803114169833391652010-05-28T14:49:11.971-07:002010-05-28T14:49:11.971-07:00LANI, that was great that you rewrote it. Good job...LANI, that was great that you rewrote it. Good job getting that visceral experience into clean text.<br /><br />GERI & ALLISON, thanks for the kind words!<br /><br />TONI, you got the start of a great paragraph. I especially loved the "again." Very telling! You can go further: "Like hell if she'd stick around to see which mood he was in tonight." Same sentence, more editordevil.blogspot.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06288986372377855628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4955595384679146116.post-79215456635966626192010-05-27T20:44:14.036-07:002010-05-27T20:44:14.036-07:00I enjoyed reading about "Illegal Stacking...&...I enjoyed reading about "Illegal Stacking..." :-)<br /><br />I'm taking your challenge to rewrite the "heinous sentence":<br /><br />Kat ripped the white gown from <br />Sloan’s grasp shredding the delicate lace.<br /><br />What do you think?Lani Schonberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05293507252578878697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4955595384679146116.post-40778614085566826132010-05-27T11:57:13.533-07:002010-05-27T11:57:13.533-07:00Nice job. This is a mini-course in one blog post (...Nice job. This is a mini-course in one blog post (she wrote carefully trying not to make any of the same mistakes detailed in the excellent post of good writing advice).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4955595384679146116.post-75623868872473922832010-05-26T18:39:30.942-07:002010-05-26T18:39:30.942-07:00Here is my revision on the sentence above:
She gl...Here is my revision on the sentence above:<br /><br />She glanced at the clock. He'd be home soon. No way was she going to stick around to find out what kind of mood he was in tonight. She grabbed her keys and headed to the beach...again.<br /><br />Sentence structure is my weakness. I tend to add more words than needed.Toni Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03121044112674293534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4955595384679146116.post-3164633784648011212010-05-26T13:39:47.328-07:002010-05-26T13:39:47.328-07:00Christine,
Thank you for this terrific editorial l...Christine,<br />Thank you for this terrific editorial lesson of the day! I especially like your breakdown of low-value/high-value words. Good stuff.Allison Ellishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07058202116653439177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4955595384679146116.post-42301604127389750212010-05-25T22:10:40.222-07:002010-05-25T22:10:40.222-07:00Yes, yes-I totally get it!!! I printed this post o...Yes, yes-I totally get it!!! I printed this post out so that I can refer to it when writing. I see myself here and I don't like what I see! How can I go to work and save lives but kill a story with bad writing-argh!!Marianne Strnadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10248182479776022425noreply@blogger.com